My Circling Cycles of Clarity and Confusion

Stuck circling clarity and confusion
as frustration takes over control,
while a little voice within keeps whispering
in hopes of helping to unleash my soul.

 Stuck in place time and time again
while moments of inspiration and euphoric highs inflate and spark
a seemingly crystal clear clarity;

Until

My bubbly balloon bursts
and I’m lost again
in a place of confusion.

Stuck yet again
in an illusion so seemingly solid
my spirits wither.

This continuously crushing circle cycling on...

I want out
I want off this merry-go-round ride
of highs and lows caught in repetition.
I want no longer to
frantically follow a fear filled flow.

Yet despite my happy hopeful grin
I’m stuck in this spontaneous spirit filled spin,
until I’m ready to honor all the wisdom
that comes from within.

And In the night as I lay in bed
I continue to sit and ponder all these thoughts
that have come to my head.

As I do this I wonder which ones to feed
which ones have grown and taken up greed
and of which ones I have that I actually need

A pondered swirl
A half conscious whirl
in dream land, a graceful ballerina twirl.

One things for sure
they never end
so each night the cycle begins again.
I begin to wonder if all cycles are the same
And if life itself is one grand illusionary game